Sleep deprived and clawing at what little gray matter I have

Yea, I'm tired. After taking and barely passing two exams last week with an A and a B, I have just taken another test today. Tomorrow there will be an even harder exam, and then yet another one for Friday.

On top of that, I still have about fifty to sixty homework questions to finish by next Thursday when I will also be taking another exam.

From here on out, there will be at least one exam every week.

And I have a cold. It was kind of like "Hey, you have five plus exams to take in the coming week or two, but we don't think you're miserable enough. Here, have a cold. Enjoy. No returns, no refunds. But you have to keep it until you're done being stressed out. This is how we build strength in our future."

Yea. Whatever. Now I'm just delusional.

At least I'm keeping up with a few of my classes pretty well. Hematology and Blood Banking are being awfully good to me. Chemistry is a give or take, depending on how well I can manage to understand/memorize the class lecture. Molecular Diagnostics is a lost cause, so I'm just going to have to do what I can to "know everything" and then wing it. As for Lab Management, there are a lot of common sense things that could simply be derived from a real work place-- I think it'll be fine. Serology is going to be strenuous-- I can already feel it, because of the homework and all the studying I don't know how to do.

So anyway, maybe I should stop slacking off in class and actually pay attention. Not that I can right now. My nose is stuffed, my chest is congested, and my throat is a bit itchy, scratchy sore. My head is fuzzy and my muscles ache like heck. And now I'm hungry as well.

Okay, so after this bout of drama, I think I'll mellow out a bit. I've got lots of studying to do tonight, and I promised a date with one of my best friends who I've been ignoring for three weeks, probably, because of all of my classes. She thinks I died, but I assured her that I'm not that lucky right now since it seems more fun to make me miserable with the inability to breath, think, sleep, or even really see anything.

Voices echo in my head, though I'm not so sure that it has to do with this cold...

And I'm done ranting.

We're Doomed

I'm an Idiot @ xkcd.com
So this is the technologically advanced world that we live in.

I'm a little worried for the future as it seems to be going on a steady down hill, but the first priority of life is that we learn how to survive for ourselves. This is my goal starting from this year and on, because I don't know how best to help make a difference to help the rest of the world except for keeping my half-assed two cents to myself.

But anyway, life still happens.

Someone Help Me

I need the perfect remedy to stop falling asleep in class. It just never fails that falling asleep during class happens. And when I least expect it, the damn "falling asleep in class" problem hits me over the head-- then I start nodding, my eyes start drooping, my entire body slumps, and then the next thing I know, I'm drifting in and out of sleep.

I've been trying not to indulge anymore in gourmet coffee a la Starbucks because of the expense and the high calorie intake, but I have a feeling I may have to start consuming my morning shot of caffeine again. I can't stand the taste of coffee and the only way for me to drink coffee is to drink it from Starbucks. I'm not being superficial or anything, this is just the way it happened. It's either that or I stock up on Mountain Dew, and I'm not about to do that either cause I hate the taste of Mountain Dew.

The only other way for me to stay awake in class is... well, it's doing this. I'm currently paying attention to typing out this SOS blog post and I'm not paying attention in class.

Somehow, I don't think this is a good idea either.

Interesting and disturbing and more...

--Click to see larger image
Online Communities -- xkcd.com

Sometimes this is what I wonder about our world with simple online communications. Such an interesting way to put it.

In other news, Maeven has finally updated the next chapter and it seems that more action will be occuring. The story is only progressing and getting better and better. And hopefully, with more story stimulating ideas, I can also continue on my goal of having something posted on the internet to share with the reading community out there.

So Blah...

Maeven posted this picture on her blog awhile back and I couldn't help but to repost it to share with my friends.

In other news, I'm patiently awaiting the next few chapters of Through Me as the last two chapters were absolutely excellent. If only I could get to the point where writing came that naturally to me. I'm still in the middle of trying to decide where to stick my Writer's Block-- or tell it where to stick itself.

And while I'm at it, here's another little comic/pic-thingy that I like:


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Amateur Blood Sucker

No, this has nothing to do with some new monster or organism I may have discovered.

I stuck my first victim today... Actually, I stuck two people. Only one of them gave me the tube of blood that I needed to attempt to collect. It's a new milestone for me, cause I never thought I'd be able to do something like that. The thought of puncturing someone's skin just to collect five milliliters of blood...

But anyway, I got a good, yet mild, rush from my first tube of blood collected. It's not like, jumping for joy exciting, but I'm satisfied with myself and I want to try it again. Not because I'm twisted and some sort of blood loving sicko, but because I want to keep sticking until I can do it without even thinking about it.

Then again, my idea of working as a Med Tech has always been more on the "No Patient Contact" side of things. I prefer to sit at my own little seat at my own little counter, inside the lab, and NOT have to make contact with patients. And that's the stuff we'll be doing soon anyway... it just so happened that drawing blood is something that we also need to learn how to do.

At least I know that I can do it now without too much trouble. I thought that I would be nervous out of my mind. I think I stayed pretty composed.

But anyway, as thus far goes, classes are not too bad. The only issue I have is with a specific teacher who I can't seem to stay awake for. On top of having a rather broken style of English, she's also pretty monotonous and reads all the slides verbatim. I have my laptop open doing other things in her class just so that I can stay awake.

I'm totally into my Hematology class, and as one can tell, am ecstatic about working in the lab. Blood banking is pretty interesting and new and the other courses are so-so. As stated already, I'm really looking forward to everything else in the rest of the program.

But anyway, school is good, days are long and tiring and I fight sleep now as I continue to try adjusting to being up early in the mornings again.

Happy New Year to all once again!

Happy New Year!

And for those of you who aren't really celebrating it, Happy Chinese New Year!

I wish I had a nice picture or the like to post up, but I've been so busy lately that I hadn't been able to get one. But that's okay. I'll probably do it later on tonight when I get the time, cause this is going to be a really busy week for me... aside from the New Year's activities.

I'm going to be exhausted, because between having textbook after textbook to read, I also have a few days of work coming up for me-- normally I wouldn't be complaining about it, but it just feels like I have no time for anything. I'm feeling overwhelmed.

But I'm sure it's a lot less chaotic than I'm making it sound.

And that's okay too.

In the meantime, I'm in school and waiting for class to start. And I'll be here all morning.

Let's think New Year, New Luck.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Med Tech Ahoy! -- Part 2 -- The Beginning

So I begin my new journey into a new route for my future. Really, that's just a fancy way of saying, "My first plan didn't work, so let's go to plan B... Ahah! Plan B is go for action. All is right in the world again." But really, I am looking forward to taking these Medical Technology courses. The entire program is laid out in an extremely vigorous and organized manner that even I couldn't screw it up if I tried.

To recap, the whole idea of getting yet another bachelor's degree is fully an intention of my own to pursue both a backup route for my future career as well as to secure working (and training) experience in the lab. Erego, I can finally say that I have a plan and I can even tell those job search forensic lab places that I have worked in a lab, with lots of different fun lab instruments and machines, and have been taught in the way of bodily specimen analysis... hopefully.

I hate to say that I'm using Medical Technology for my own devious plans, but really, it's not like I won't be working for the greater good of the people if I don't stick with being a Medical Technologist, right? Okay, so now I don't even make sense to myself.

My ultimate goal in life is really to become-- in some way, shape or form-- a good forensic scientist. My next step after securing a steady income and lab experience is to head on into further education. A Masters in the Forensic Sciences, if you will. This, in the end, is what I truly want at the moment.

Maybe in a few years I'll feel differently, but I even have the school I want to go to picked out. It's just a matter of finding out what I need to do to get into said school, a la advisors, information, etc, etc, etc... Money has always been an issue as well, and I'm not quite sure how all the financial aids, work aids, working grants, and whatnot actually work. I'm ignorant, I will admit that. But at this point in time, I have a pretty straight tracked mind-- finish this, then worry about that. It's probably not the best way to think of things since it keeps me from realizing the bigger picture, but if I try to do too many things at once, I can easily confuse my feeble mind.

Then where would we be? Well, everyone else can happily do whatever, but I'm sure I'd be in a world of confused messiness.

Again, I'm simple and I'm ignorant. Yes, my world is sucky, but it's comfortable.

But anyway, I start classes tomorrow morning. Everyday from eight o'clock in the morning up until passed noon, I will be learning the tricks of this new trade. Again, I am quite looking forward to this new endeavor, not only because of the future groundwork I'm laying, but also because the classes just sound really cool.

This semester its the first parts of each base course: Hematology, Clinical Chemistry, Immunohematology (of which they call Blood Banking), Serology, Clinical Diagnostics and Lab Management. Along the way, we are to incorporate everything into one whole, which is something that high school has never taught us... individual courses in college don't do jack to help a student take things from one class and apply it to the next either...

In the summer, I will be hooked on Microbiology, as I will be taking ten credit hours of it, including a two week, vigorous, nonstop Special Topics in Microbiology course that I absolutely cannot miss. In this matter, I shall tearfully wave good-bye to my twenty-fifth birthday while being tied down to microbiology lab work.

Have I ever mentioned that Microbiology is one of my favorite subjects? It's only second to Genetics. Granted, I would have done much better in that class had I not gotten a full on case of Slack-itis, but I loved all the lab work we did for Microbiology. Genetics is just extremely difficult and so I didn't get much out of it, but I really enjoyed it nonetheless.

In mentioning this specific aspect to friends, I got called a nerd. I would take it a good way because I like being a nerd, but I'm not sure being called a nerd at that point had been intended for good... -_-

But anyway, the rest of the program ends with the second part of the classes I'm taking this semester, during the fall. And then next spring, I officially begin my five month rotations and get to do some hands on.

I feel a bit excited, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to force myself to keep up. I still have remnants of Slack-itis, and my study habits are not getting any better. I guess I just have to keep telling myself that after this one year and five months, I shall be scott free from school-- for awhile-- and will have a better chance at a better job than I have now.

Wish me luck? I know I'll need a lot of it. I just hope I don't screw anything up too early in the program.

On a side note, I get a nifty little name tag and a lab coat. I feel like when I was back in high school and got put into some significant, teacher's pet organization-- somehow like I'm suddenly more important than I was before.

Hell, I am some naive little nerd. Such a loser... but a proud one at that!

So everyone just carry on now.

In Memory of a Great Author

Michael Crichton Official Site

So it just came to my attention recently that one of my favorite authors has died of cancer. And to think that I've always boasted how much I love his books and his subjects over contorversy and whatnot. But even though he died nearly two months ago, I didn't even know about it and was told by a friend.

I'm a very private person and typically don't care about the outside world too much. My life consists of home, school, work, and friends. So I guess now I can finally tell just how much I pay attention to news around even my own world.

I discovered Michael Crichton as many others probably did, through the movies. After watching Jurassic Park, it probably took me a few years to get into reading novels written by him. Back then, I was still in middle school when I first laid my hands on my first Michael Crichton book.

To this day, I can't say I remember which one it is that I read first-- it could have been Sphere or Congo but I honestly don't remember. I just remember that I liked it. Then I watched more of the movie adaptations and became hooked.

I was always a bookworm. So I will admit that Michael Crichton books weren't really my main priority. I've probably read everything there was to read in my school library, skipping passed the young adult books and heading straight for classic literature, contemporary novels, and all the other good stuff.

And then my brothers became fans of Michael Crichton books. The next time I picked up a Michael Crichton book after thost first two happened to be Timeline. It was one of the best books I'd read and probably one of my favorite of his. After that, I started diving into more of his older novels, including A Case of Need-- that he wrote under a pseudonym-- and many other books.

I really like this author because of his outside of the box ideas. His writing style was unique, jumping around from one scene to another so easily, but still keeping good pace with the entire storyline.

I've enjoyed reading his works for so long and it's sad to think that we'll never be able to see another book written by him.

From one of his eternal fans, may he rest in peace.

Wired... Weird... it's all the same, right? P.S. Crusades are dangerous.

I can't sleep right now. This is bad because I still have to go back to work tomorrow at three in the evening.

There are things that I know I shouldn't say, but I can't help saying because there is no better way for me to vent my anger than having it written down. I like to come bacn and read things I've written about... kind of like for future reference. "So the last time that this happened, this is what I did... or didn't do."

Well, maybe it's not so much like that, but at least I can believe I've tried hard enough to improve through problems that I come across.

Work is like a battlezone right now. But then again, I guess no matter where you go, you will happen across problems pertaining to people not liking each other. But today was absolute pandemonium.

I feel like we're in highschool all over again and we all have out own cliques wherein we just don't like every other clique and try to make trouble for them. No one understands what's going on in other cliques and no one tries to understand, nor do they communicate. Everyone acts like a child... and then you have those neutral groups of people who just want to be left alone and out of the war.

Okay, so maybe we're more like a cultural crusade war.

Or maybe not. That was a really bad analogy.

But I'm not even sure how to describe it at all. I only know that I remain within the neutral territory where I don't side with anyone and only with reason. But the more I think about it, the less I know which side reason is on. I go by my own standards after all. And somehow my own standards stand on the same level as one specific side of our little work war.

I just want to keep the peace. But I guess even peace keepers have tempers and my patience is sadly being tried. My patience is being tried. I don't want to be immodest about this, but a lot of people know that my tolerance for people's ability to test my patience is quite high. I tolerate people and situations pretty well.

But my patience seems to be drawn quite tight as of late. I no longer have room for people who do nothing but fan the flames of a roaring fire and I have no room for people who can't seem to grow up and accept their own duties. I especially have no room for those who fan roaring flames. Because frankly, if you have nothing better to say to make the situation better, then keep your mouth shut. If all you're going to do is make the situation worse, then just shut the f*** up. Stay out of it-- do us all a favor. Don't make things worse.

I think I especially hate those types who only seem to make the situation worse. How do we say this in Chinese? "Concern that the world isn't chaotic enough." <-- Yea, entropy is natural, but adding to it will only make things blow up. It's not pretty.

It's a touchy subject that this work war is based around right now. Strong accusations make for hard turn arounds if you ever want to take your words back. The cuts have been made and there is no turning back.

One of my coworkers was very loudly accused of being racist just because she wasn't willing to allow special treatment for certain people. No one else gets special treatment and everyone gets the same amount of workload. But tonight, this woman had already been given special treatment twice and was still not satisfied with how we try to keep the peace by accomodating-- nothing was making her happy. And so my fellow innocent coworker made her stand and said, "No special treatment. From now on, we don't change anything for anyone again. No more changes just because someone isn't happy."

And so she was called racist.

On a side, controversial note, I feel strong about even using that word. The word "racist" is thrown around all too easily in this country and in this day and age. There are no if, ands, or buts about whether or not someone is racist. There is no hard evidence or true testimonial proof. All one has to say is "she/he is racist" and they can go to court and back with personal testimony.

It's bull crap, and speaking on the side of a minority group, I hate that word. Minorities use it all too easily for any and every reason. I'm not saying that everyone uses it, but those who do are the ones who do so too often. And then what happens? Bad impressions, bad stereotyping, and if you wrongfully use those accusations, it makes people hate you even more and hate your people even more. And then, yea, prejudism happens.

I know that not everyone uses that word wrongfully. I will agree that there are people out there who suffer from racist judgement. It happens and there's no changing it.

But when I'm on the side of reason, and there is no reason to use that word at all, then everything just kind of goes to hell.

But I'm going to step down from my soap box right now before I get too far. Life is like that, which is why I prefer to keep the peace. If things will get no worse because I keep my mouth shut, then I will keep my mouth shut. After all, I don't know anything about fixing problems. I may as well just keep my mouth shut rather than run it-- unlike those people I hate so much who just want to make the situations worse by adding oil to the flame.

In the end, we humans are all just a simple, small species in this ginormous universe anyway. Why live through it making things difficult for others and difficult for yourselves? Keep the peace and move on-- stop stressing. We are all born the same way, we all develop and grow the same way, we all live on the same speck of insignificant earth in this universe, and we all die and go to the same place in the end-- into the ground where we decompose and get eaten by worms.

It's a big world out there and we're just little dots on someone else's map.

Stand up, stop stressing, and move on.

Ha. Easier said than done, I guess.