I can't sleep right now. This is bad because I still have to go back to work tomorrow at three in the evening.
There are things that I know I shouldn't say, but I can't help saying because there is no better way for me to vent my anger than having it written down. I like to come bacn and read things I've written about... kind of like for future reference. "So the last time that this happened, this is what I did... or didn't do."
Well, maybe it's not so much like that, but at least I can believe I've tried hard enough to improve through problems that I come across.
Work is like a battlezone right now. But then again, I guess no matter where you go, you will happen across problems pertaining to people not liking each other. But today was absolute pandemonium.
I feel like we're in highschool all over again and we all have out own cliques wherein we just don't like every other clique and try to make trouble for them. No one understands what's going on in other cliques and no one tries to understand, nor do they communicate. Everyone acts like a child... and then you have those neutral groups of people who just want to be left alone and out of the war.
Okay, so maybe we're more like a cultural crusade war.
Or maybe not. That was a really bad analogy.
But I'm not even sure how to describe it at all. I only know that I remain within the neutral territory where I don't side with anyone and only with reason. But the more I think about it, the less I know which side reason is on. I go by my own standards after all. And somehow my own standards stand on the same level as one specific side of our little work war.
I just want to keep the peace. But I guess even peace keepers have tempers and my patience is sadly being tried. My patience is being tried. I don't want to be immodest about this, but a lot of people know that my tolerance for people's ability to test my patience is quite high. I tolerate people and situations pretty well.
But my patience seems to be drawn quite tight as of late. I no longer have room for people who do nothing but fan the flames of a roaring fire and I have no room for people who can't seem to grow up and accept their own duties. I especially have no room for those who fan roaring flames. Because frankly, if you have nothing better to say to make the situation better, then keep your mouth shut. If all you're going to do is make the situation worse, then just shut the f*** up. Stay out of it-- do us all a favor. Don't make things worse.
I think I especially hate those types who only seem to make the situation worse. How do we say this in Chinese? "Concern that the world isn't chaotic enough." <-- Yea, entropy is natural, but adding to it will only make things blow up. It's not pretty.
It's a touchy subject that this work war is based around right now. Strong accusations make for hard turn arounds if you ever want to take your words back. The cuts have been made and there is no turning back.
One of my coworkers was very loudly accused of being racist just because she wasn't willing to allow special treatment for certain people. No one else gets special treatment and everyone gets the same amount of workload. But tonight, this woman had already been given special treatment twice and was still not satisfied with how we try to keep the peace by accomodating-- nothing was making her happy. And so my fellow innocent coworker made her stand and said, "No special treatment. From now on, we don't change anything for anyone again. No more changes just because someone isn't happy."
And so she was called racist.
On a side, controversial note, I feel strong about even using that word. The word "racist" is thrown around all too easily in this country and in this day and age. There are no if, ands, or buts about whether or not someone is racist. There is no hard evidence or true testimonial proof. All one has to say is "she/he is racist" and they can go to court and back with personal testimony.
It's bull crap, and speaking on the side of a minority group, I hate that word. Minorities use it all too easily for any and every reason. I'm not saying that everyone uses it, but those who do are the ones who do so too often. And then what happens? Bad impressions, bad stereotyping, and if you wrongfully use those accusations, it makes people hate you even more and hate your people even more. And then, yea, prejudism happens.
I know that not everyone uses that word wrongfully. I will agree that there are people out there who suffer from racist judgement. It happens and there's no changing it.
But when I'm on the side of reason, and there is no reason to use that word at all, then everything just kind of goes to hell.
But I'm going to step down from my soap box right now before I get too far. Life is like that, which is why I prefer to keep the peace. If things will get no worse because I keep my mouth shut, then I will keep my mouth shut. After all, I don't know anything about fixing problems. I may as well just keep my mouth shut rather than run it-- unlike those people I hate so much who just want to make the situations worse by adding oil to the flame.
In the end, we humans are all just a simple, small species in this ginormous universe anyway. Why live through it making things difficult for others and difficult for yourselves? Keep the peace and move on-- stop stressing. We are all born the same way, we all develop and grow the same way, we all live on the same speck of insignificant earth in this universe, and we all die and go to the same place in the end-- into the ground where we decompose and get eaten by worms.
It's a big world out there and we're just little dots on someone else's map.
Stand up, stop stressing, and move on.
Ha. Easier said than done, I guess.
No comments:
Post a Comment